The Oath of Office
For NSNC officers. It’s optional, if we remember to conduct it. Either hand can go on a bound column collection (an Ernie Pyle book works) and the other hand upraised, holding a pen or quill
I, (name), do soberly swear,
To advocate for the craft of columns, in the field of journalism,
To abide by the Code of Conduct of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists,
To represent the National Society of Newspaper Columnists as (title).
How great Art —
— Buchwald.
Thy Will —
— Rogers.
So help me, Erma and Ernie.
— Ben Pollock, 2010
The Columnist’s Prayer
Dear Lord,
I live my life
in mortal dread,
some day I’ll die
one column ahead
— “Big Bob” Hill, 1993
The Columnist’s Motto
I will write no column before it’s time.
Also,
I will write no column before its time.
— Bob Hill