The NSNC president’s newsletter column
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists “You had the ability,” a U.S. Marine sergeant once told Pvt. Art Buchwald, “to screw up a two-car funeral. Anything you touched ceased to function.” No, Ernie Pyle wasn’t the only newspaper columnist to serve in World War II. Buchwald, whose drill instructor, Cpl.…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Leave it to Mark Twain to have the best take on April Fools’ Day. In “Pudd’nhead Wilson’s Calendar,” he wrote, “This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are the other 364.” Before he became “the Lincoln of our literature,”…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Beware the Ides of March. We have all heard this old saying and have promptly ignored it, especially if we’ve heard it in, say, November, because it raises an important question: What the hell is an ide? It could be used to say, “Ide…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists William Shakespeare said, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Dorothy Parker did the Bard one better when she said, “Brevity is the soul of lingerie.” Since it is February, the shortest month of the year, I am going with another old saying: “Thirty days…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists My best New Year’s resolution was made many New Years ago, a year after my worst New Year’s resolution, which was to develop a taste for Scotch. Looking for a beverage that would mark me as smooth, suave and sophisticated in restaurants (which did…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists This month’s message is brought to you by the Jerry’s Kids College, Wedding and Adorable Granddaughter Fund, a nonprofit organization so disorganized that it doesn’t make a profit. I wouldn’t want to see other organizations that are close to my heart (and other vital…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Gentle Readers: I am writing from my manor in the manner of Miss Manners, using all manner of mannerly ways to say that Judith Martin (aka the aforementioned Miss Manners) has kindly and graciously accepted our invitation to attend the NSNC conference in Indianapolis…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists With apologies to Frank Sullivan, the late, little-known but wonderful humorist who created Mr. Arbuthnot, the cliché expert, I am happy to introduce Mr. Lingo, the NSNC’s new, unsalaried language guru. Q: Welcome, Mr. Lingo. You are an expert in the use of clichés that…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists I write an alleged humor column (I have to say “alleged” because I am not above suing even myself) for a simple reason: I am spectacularly unqualified to do anything else. I knew I wanted to be a writer in high school, not just…
President’s Message By Jerry Zezima President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Greetings, I am your new president. No six words in the English language can strike more paralyzing fear into NSNC members except, perhaps, “Don’t move, this is a stick-up” or “Hey, pal, your fly is open.” Still, it’s true. (Made you look down, didn’t…
President’s Message By Eric Heyl NSNC President Don’t wait to buy your registration from scalpers. Don’t be that person. We still have some registrations available for the upcoming conference in Washington, but I won’t guarantee we won’t sell out before this extravaganza commences on June 26. I’m bad at guarantees. I can’t even offer credible…
This column originally was published in the May 2014 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. President’s Message By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Admit it. You’re intrigued. You probably assumed we were planning some special things for the upcoming NSNC conference, which will occur…
This column originally was published in the April 2014 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. President’s Message By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists He missed writing his column. In one of the last email exchanges I had with Joel Brinkley, he confided that he…
President’s Message This column originally was published in the March 2014 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists ITEM! When facing a tight deadline or lacking a topic of particular gravitas, some columnists occasionally resort to a “notes” column,…
President’s Message This column was originally published in the January 2014 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Admit it. The question lingered in the back of your mind. As you sang “Auld Lange Syne,” as the lampshade threatened…
President’s Message This column was originally published in the December 2013 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Tis the season to be jolly? For the intrepid columnist, that’s not necessarily the case. “Dog days” refer to that particularly…
President’s Message This piece was originally published in November 2013 edition of The Columnist, the members’ newsletter of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists. By Eric Heyl President National Society of Newspaper Columnists Brace yourselves. The information I’m about to share will shock some of you. I don’t know everything. I’m sure you thought that…
